Happy Holidays from Hell's Acres

Hey folks, I just thought I would bestow upon you a Christmas tree as a present for reading this blog. I carefully selected the tree on an excursion with my five-year-old boy.


No, I'm not talking about the tree in this 1969 Forbes & Wallace Christmas ad. Which tree am I referring to? You'll see: we found it in the woods.

My son and I typically go on hikes in the White Cedar Swamp in Wilbraham when it freezes over, and sure enough, after a couple of cold weeks, it was solid on December 19.


You never know what you'll find on a hike. Look what we picked up when we trudged through the swamp's uplands in the fall of 2009 (above).


So there we were last Sunday, scaling the familiar old stone wall—the kind of structure that is ubiquitous in the woodlands of New England, and yet gives you that feeling that you're looking at something...special...ancient...like Stonehenge, man.


Giving me the paparazzi brush-off (oh yeah, paparazzo is the singular), he let me know that he hates having his picture taken, which kind of worked out, because I would never include his face on the blog. (No offense, but there are weirdos out there.)

Our route always takes us under the bridge at a condo development, our brief brush with civilization and the least attractive portion of the walk. But this is a part he likes because, after all, it's an adventure, especially if a car passes over us.

Much to my dismay, we found that someone had tossed a television set off the side of the bridge into the swamp. Good thing we weren't down there when this happened. We scaled the hill to walk on the bridge so I could take an "aerial" photo of the destruction.


Wow, we discovered that a troll under the bridge (or was it one of Santa's elves?) took parts of the smashed TV and made a decorative little Christmas tree! This is much sturdier than Charlie Brown's Christmas tree and much quainter than a Festivus pole.


A trashed TV tree! No, this wasn't my work. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid enough to cut my fingers or tear my gloves by yanking out television parts. I'm just stupid enough to hang around a discarded TV and wait for the tube to blow up in our faces. Realizing this possibility, I suggested that it was time to move on. But first we sang O Tannenbaum.

Well, I knew you'd appreciate this little present. Happy holidays. A new post is coming very soon!